Tag Archives: Falling asleep early

Tip #9: Enjoy the time when getting older was fun

March 2, 1995

Today is my birthday and we went to Freash Choice. Oh yes, I jest went into the wonderfull years of doble digets! I am 10!!

30th Birthday Celebration

30th Birthday Celebration

Oh, so cute! I remember the good-ole days when getting older was considered cool. The first fun birthday for me was when I was five; a whole hand! Then ten; double digits! 13=teenager! 16=driver’s license! 18=adult! The last special one was my 21st birthday. They call it Forever 21 for a very good reason.

Then there are the birthdays from 21 to 29. Those aren’t exactly fun, but they’re nothing. You’re in your twenties; who cares? Whatevs! You’re still young, not yet tied down with serious responsibilities. But everyone knows what comes after 29. NO! Shush your mouth; don’t say it out loud. I would know; I celebrated that dreaded birthday nine days ago.

Based on what society tells us, I should have spontaneously combusted on March 2nd, all proof of my youth and coolness obliterated. At the very least, my back should have given out, crow’s feet should have popped up, and blue varicose veins should have sprung from my liver-spotted flesh. Come to think of it, why didn’t I get Botox for my birthday? What was I thinking?

Rachel from Friends turns the year-after-29

Rachel from Friends turns the year-after-29

But surprise! I look and feel the same. I didn’t die or turn into a warty hag (subject to opinion). I remember watching a Friends episode where Rachel turned the-age-after-29 (I’m warning you; SHUT IT!) and acting like it was the end of the world. I was 16 at the time (driver’s license age, boo-yah!) and even then I thought that she was being stupid. When you’re 16, basically everyone seems old. And yes, she was old; I won’t deny that. But I also recognized that turning 30 wasn’t a big deal. She seemed so shallow and superficial. At the-age-after-29, Rachel was healthy; she was beautiful; she had friends and family who loved her. What more do you need in life? I was almost offended by the episode.

So remembering this thought that I had at 16 has helped me transition to that dreaded age. If, at 16 I thought that being 30 was no biggie, then it’s no biggie! Now I just need to get it in my head that turning the-age-after-39 is still young to help with that mentality over the next decade.



Tip #46: Please, I’m begging you: wear your retainer!

January 28, 2000

Okay, I am so mad! In second grade, I got a retainer. Then in third grade, I got braces for three years and then a retainer again since then. Now I don’t mind retainers but recently my wisdom teeth came in and uh-no! My teeth aren’t perfectly aligned on the right side of my mouth! No one can even see. Urrrrr. So anyway, my stupid orthodontist put braces in my mouth with rubber bands laced around them. When the rubber bands are in, it hurts my teeth. But when they are out, there is no cushioning and the braces poke at my cheeks. I have bloody sores on my cheeks, but when the rubber bands are in they clamp my teeth down so tight I can barely talk!

Dear Me,

I’m getting down on my hands and knees and begging, pleading, imploring you to wear your retainer. Please, little Kirsten, do not stop. Ever. This is – no joke – my number one regret in life. Look how sad you were; how much pain you endured for over a period of TEN years to get your teeth perfectly aligned. Don’t let all of the tears and fights be in vain. Think of all the money your parents spent to make you not look like your friends and family in Europe.

High School Prom (2003)/Wedding (2010). My bottom teeth don't look so bad at my wedding, but that was four years ago. You don't even want to see an updated photo.

High School Prom (2003)/Wedding (2010). My bottom teeth don’t look so bad at my wedding, but that was four years ago. You don’t even want to see an updated photo.

And your teeth were beautiful. People on the street would stop you just to compliment your smile. Okay, mainly creepy men, but who’s keeping track? All you needed to do was flash those flawless pearly whites and heads would turn, traffic would stop, and trumpets would sounds. Fine, I might be overreacting, but you did get one boyfriend (now husband) with your straight teeth.

Then one night in college you were sleeping in your dorm when a knock on the door woke you out of your slumber. You stumbled out of bed, not caring in the slightest what you looked like, to find one of your friends on the other side, taunting you for falling asleep before midnight (shhhh… it was really 10:30 p.m.). And what’s that? You have two retainers in your mouth? You still wear those? What a little baby! And that was it. Your retainers got hidden away for the next six months, until you found them when you were moving out of the dorm. You and your roommate laughed when you both could barely shove your respective retainers into your mouths. Your top one fit with much difficulty, but the bottom… well, was toast. You both laughed; silly teeth!

Ha. Ha. Ha. NOT FUNNY! The bottom teeth might have moved just slightly back then, but they will just keep sliding. Now they bother me so much that I have a habit of pushing them forward with my tongue or grinding them in hopes that they will go back in place (for the record, this has been an epic fail). I religiously wear my top retainer every night so that the top teeth don’t meet the same destiny. Luckily, I’m tall so when I’m standing, people can’t really see my bottom teeth. But then they see my double-chin, so it’s really a wash as to what’s worse.

I’ve been contemplating Invisalign for years, but I can’t bring myself to do it again. I don’t want to shed one more single tear due to the physical and monetary pain of making my teeth straight. But I’ll probably need to since grinding your teeth is like super bad. I just wish I could tell my past self: wear your freaking retainer!!!